It's my life

wish u all the best babe.

2005-05-02T13:23:00.000-07:00

just heard she got a boyfriend. kinda upset for me thou. i still wish her all the best in the r/s. i just hope she wont get hurt from this r/s again.

hope u're happy with him all the time lady. anything happen u still have me as a friend ok.

Upsetting..

2005-04-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

sooo upset la. i just got my phone back today. i went to send it for repair like 2 weeks. guess what?? everything on my phone is gone ok. the PHOTOS that i love so much... damn upset la. sigh.. esp with me and her on my phone. guess it wont be back on my phone again.

today is a stressful day at work thou. got to find names for a client. my MD say if anyone of us found a good name and that person were to move over to china and work, we can get to name a trip of our liking. sound cool? very tough man. haha. i'll work towards it thats for sure. im still new in the company so maybe i wont stand a chance thou. i'll try my very best to win that trip of my liking man.

what the hell??

2005-04-24T22:47:00.000-07:00

what the hell man? audrey got a new bf? what a joke la. im not upset or anything about it la. just that its so fast also. anw i dun care at all. haha. i'm living my life to the max now thou. kinda happy with the things going around me now.

today sunday 24 apr. i was like a pig the whole day haha. sleep so much today la and after that went to play soccer. every sunday training thou. fuck man liverpool lost last night. its so fucking useless la. give up hope on them already. oh no.. tomorrow got to work.. stress.. haha.

didnt do anything much today so i have nothing much to say la. haha. only thing is that audrey got a bf already. its kinda fast. thats all.
just cant wait for end of the month people. getting pay and stuff. wakeboarding... here i come man.

taking a break from love...

2005-04-20T11:10:00.000-07:00

whoever u are that leave that comment. THANKS.

im working towards my goals in life. girls are not important to me right now. guess your're right abt me "friend" i did alot of soul searching for the past few days. its not love at all. its all a "rebound". sad to say but its true.

But if that someone on my mind now got into some trouble or whatever. i'll be there for her. she knows my bad side of life. thats the sad part. anw.. im taking a break from love. The past few months was madness. i need to stop all the shit. thanks to desmond for giving a advice. having a pretty boy face. MAKE FULL USE OF IT. change me to be so playful. i hardly hang out with him now. i had enough of all this. i just wanna sit back and chill. doing the things i love so much. "outdoor sports" haha

becoming a man takes time. im sure im working towards it now. im in the right side of the road now. no turning back or making the same mistakes again. to me now is work, gym, soccer, wake board, go-karting and towel climbing. im living my life to the max.

im taking every step slow and steady. no more rush hour. i wanna know her better before doing anything. think before i do anything. to be honest.. i did think of her even im with audrey. seeing my hp with the photos taken together. even audrey saw them on my phone. she just ask who is she. i just say a friend. no turning back.. its all gone.. i just like the way she is. Her smile can just melt my heart. really.. sigh.. enough said. im taking a break from it.

Thanks for giving the advice "friend". who are u btw? just curious..

im getting over her

2005-04-12T22:52:00.000-07:00

yeah, im slowly getting over her already. i dun feel the hurt and pain anymore. i just saw the adver for The OC. im just like that guy before alrite (i forgot the name. damn..) i cant get over my gf. i just cant take it if i were to see her with other guys. i told her just be friends today but i dun think i can uphold my word for it cos i really cant treat her as my friend. its not that i didnt try or whatsoever ok. we are meant to be together as a couple not as a friend. The feeling is the same if you're working or in a uniform group ok. if you're the manager in a company and you did something wrong and your boss is not happy. what will he do? most prob fire u right? or maybe ask u to step down as manager to be normal staff. can u take it?? downgrading is the word.. im sure nobody is able to take it.

sorry dear, i really cant treat u as my friend. i still love u but its fading already.
im not as hurt as before. im picking myself back again.

its over

2005-04-10T21:25:00.000-07:00

It's all over between me and audrey. i went to find her last night and i made her something. she just say thanks thats all. totally no more feelings for me anymore. alrite.. i told myself, that was the last thing i gonna do already. i've given up everything and move on with my life. i'll try my best to do just that. i wont contact her ever again and wont bother her ever again. i cant bring myself to treat her as a friend. its not that i dun wan to do that. i never keep contact with my ex that i love alot. i just feel weird if i do that. she told me that "i hope we can still remind as friends and hang out". i cant do that.. i cant bring myself to do just that. it hurts me alot. its easy to say for her cos she dun have feelings for me anymore.

i really wish i can turn back time. i think some people will agree with me on this. some will be not. i bring myself to delete the testi i got her and the photos we took together. its the first step into getting over. i tell myself now... im just gonna take a break with r/s. just bring out the old robin and play. cant wait to go clubbing with adrian again. so much fun... till then.

life's move on for me. i'll take everyday as a lesson.

another day for me

2005-04-07T22:24:00.000-07:00

Here goes another day for me. been hurt, sad and lonely. nobody will know how im feeling now. i bet nobody can for now. i do love myself alot like looking good always and pamper myself sometimes. i really dun need this kinda love myself thingy. i wan somebody to love me whole heartly thats all i want now.

im feeling so down but trying to act strong and stuff. im so weak inside that is bleeding so bad that nobody knows. its not that i didnt tell anybody, all of them are busy and stuff. one of my best buddie told me. bro, u're a expert in this la im sure u can handle it. what the fuck is that??? im still a human being after all for christ sake. when this happen im always alone. my best buddy is in army now. damn.. i miss him so much. he's always there for me. asking me bro are u alrite? when he ask me this i wanna break down and cry. im weak and soft for a guy. i do cry when im sad and hurt.

Am i asking too much for somebody that i can talk to be there for me? when im feeling sad and hurt. there's this place at east coast where im there. guess nobody knows where. east coast is so big. feeling the wind blowing at face, drinking, smoking, thinking, crying...

life is so short we got to make full use of it. i agree with everybody. i really would love to carry on with my life. im trying so hard and nobody is there backing me up. nobody is there to give me a hand. i always climb back myself. once im up there again and im sure this will happen again. i need to warn myself not to go into another r/s again. im scare of it but if the one i really like i cant help it but to fall in love and get hurt again.

my life is like shit. man give me a life.

it's all over

2005-04-07T14:05:00.000-07:00

it's all over.. everything.. i spoke to one of her best friend just now. she dun wanna break up with me cos she dun wanna hurt me. she just wanna take time off so that i can move on in life. sounds nice but its more hurting. so i'll be the one telling her let's break up. she say she still have feelings for me but not much. its hard for me to tell her to break up cos i do like her and feelings are still the same. i just hope it will just fade away fast. i wanna carry on with my life with or without her by my side.

so upset, telling someone that u like alot to break up. know how i feel now? i feel like fuck. really like fuck. i wish im not around and can turn back time when i didnt get to know her at all. feeling so hurt and down. she take it as nothing. if she can do it why cant i? enjoy life... keep telling myself to enjoy and chill out. i just cant bring myself to do it. my heart still hurts alot when im enjoying i'll think of her, wondering whats she's doing and stuff like that. i really wish i can go for a brain wash. take away all the unhappy stuff in my head. esp now...

im sorry robin, i cant control but to cry again.

another day for me

2005-04-07T07:03:00.000-07:00

My life's a bitch...

2005-04-06T23:15:00.000-07:00

life really sux big time for me. i wonder why all this is happening to me too. fuck everybody, fuck the free world man.

today i went for my driving, my tp is on the 8 of june. finally.. i hope i can pass for the first time round. i've been thinking alot lately, about everything.. i keep telling myself not to go into a r/s. why i just cant uphold my word? happen before that some girls do like me but i dun like them. till the day i like somebody i cant resist but to fall in love with that person. i get hurt all the time.

life is not perfect i agree with everybody, but why my life is like shit? izzit true to be love then to love is better? dun u think its unfair for e other party? i really dun believe in love anymore. guess u people can tell me. robin... u have not met the "right girl" yet. u're still young, take your time. i take it as all rubbish la. i dun think i will be able to meet the "right girl". even the "right girl" comes along, i'll be scare to commit too. i wont know she is the "right girl". im just too scare to go into a r/s again as i say before. i dare to love and i dare to hate. i took the risks of myself getting hurt when i go into a r/s.

There's so many songs that is like saying what im going through now. trouble, by pink. if only i would turn back time, by Aqua. when i fall in love, bu ant & dec. quit playing games with my heart, by backstreet boys. so so so many more.

I really envy some of my friends that their r/s is going on well and stuff. im sure they are times when they are on the rocks too. i always wanna run away from everything. i dun wanna face it. im sick and tired of everything. im sure alot of people do agree with me on this. SICK AND TIRED OF R/S. i really like to be love and to love. i cant be sick of it thats the thing in me. Thats why im getting hurt all the time. i have enough..

to all the girls out there.. pls dun ruin my life again.

why me? why me again?

2005-04-05T17:42:00.000-07:00

why?? why this got to happen to me again? what's wrong with me?? what the fuck is my problem?? pls.. tell me..

today is a day i turn single again. audrey talk things out with me. she wanna be single for the time being. i know we will never get back together again after this day. audrey i really love u alot. im sure u know abt it right? the things i did and all. im so heart broken typing this. nobody to talk to but only u here.

i msg nick asking if he's free and wanna meet up. i say i wanna go for drinks all e sudden. im sure as a long time friend he should know whats wrong. he reply me. sorry bro i dun wanna drink and i'll be going chalet tonight. why is he thinking all about himself and not spare a though for me? he didnt even ask why i wanna go drink or something. something bothering me? NOTHING.. just like my first entry.. what are friends for??? i dun blame them for not being there for me. but at least can just ask what happen right? i'll feel better in that way too.

i think i got to make more new friends. to me friends are not everything. my gf is my everything. look at the way my friends treat me sometimes. i have alot of party and fun to be with friends. i want a friend that will be there for me when i needed someone. thats all i wan for now.

i'll always be here for u when u need me. i still love u alot. the feelings may fade if u dun wanna be with me anymore. u're the one that i ever wanted.

life's Good man

2005-03-31T20:33:00.000-08:00

wah.. the last time i update my blog is like ages ago man. haha. been busy lately thou. kinda fun with my new job thou.

Everything now is what i wanted. Having such a loving gf i had. been staying with her lately too. know all the bad habits she have. haha. The way you sleep dear, so cute la. haha. cant get enough of your kisses and hug ok. guess u know that thou. my life is pretty much settle now already. having a job and my beloved gf. so so much in love with u baby.

life's is wonderful to me now. at last...

life is so so much better now

2005-03-09T23:18:00.000-08:00

kinda long didnt update my blog already so just drop a msg la.
never will i walk alone again in the darkness of evil. i met an angel that will show me the way i wanna walk. the world seem so much brighter these days with u around my dear. never will i leave u for somebody else. i just hope u wont leave me thats all k. really scare of it sometimes thou.

typing this now im missing u dearie. haha. guess u wont know cos i didnt tell u that i got a blog. u'll just freak out la. u are just so wonderful to me. i love the way u bully me and stuff. saying im cute and all. haha. had alot of fun times together the past week, there are more to come ok. trust me. just telling myself all this here thou. even if i tell u guess u wont believe me la. its ok with me, i'll just prove u the way i treat u thats all. u are sooo cute when u get mad at me. hahaha.

i thank god for giving me this gift i had. i promise him i'll take care of u.

happy again...

2005-02-28T23:23:00.000-08:00

finally.. the nightmare is gone.. everything is back to normal again. met a whole lot new friends. life is going great again for me. thanks to a friend i met this girl audrey. she's kinda nice. wanna get to know her better before i made any wrong move again. haha. i learn my mistakes already la. learn so much from it boy. never will i repeat the same fucking stupid mistake i made last time man. NEVER!!!!

wont know how it may turn out too. everything seem to be just fine. i hope everything will be fine too. her smile can just melt my heart la. words cant even say how much that smile worth to me ok. just feel so good when i make her smile and laugh. it means alot to me. thanks alot.

fated that u came into my life girl.

i dun care..

2005-02-24T00:55:00.000-08:00

i dun care u can post it everywhere. u dun me know at all and my past with my ex so u people have no right to say how she treated me. i wont even have to cut myself and see how much i bleed. guess u people wan me dead, i dun care, what i can say she won the war. my next gf wont be anything like any of u people. dun have to worry at all. its all a mistake coming into all this in the first place. dun u get piss? u can go listen to your good friend by all mean ya i dun care at all. i have move on and not drag about the past already. its a nightmare for me. dun have to pity my next gf cos i think the next one will be the luckiest of them all. i dun have to prove anybody.

good luck in whatever u do in the furture.
anw i dun care also la.

my ex a bitch

2005-02-22T17:49:00.000-08:00

All my ex are bitches. esp the last one i had. words cant even use it on her man. i dun know what to say at all. all i can say she is just a bitch thats all. i really pity the next guy that gonna chase her. pls dun let her "nice" feelings get over your head. think hard before u wanna be with her.

all the girls i known are not as bad. u are the worst of them all.

i hope i do stand a chance

2005-02-21T00:05:00.000-08:00

Everybody wish to have a chance some part of their lifes. can be anything... be it work, love, friendship etc. people do take chances, just risking everything behind. sometimes people wont know should they take the chances or let it slip away. chances don't come often so i can see people rather take it then leave it. why life so confusing?? cant it be simpler? im sure alot of people do think the same as me. i can only say.. this is life..

i just wish im given a chance.
thats all.

everything is going back to normal

2005-02-16T12:31:00.000-08:00

today im going for my driving again!!! haha.cant wait thou. why human beings are so weird at times? i really dun know why. today is another day for me, maybe going to club tonight too but i dun know where. i got a interview is at 7:15pm, is at suntec city tower 4. i wonder where is tower 4 man. haha. wish me luck people..

hope everything is going back to normal soon.
start over again.

i'm so depressed

2005-02-15T12:15:00.000-08:00

Today is a brand new day for me. i just came back from the hospital cos my tummy is hurting me so much again. doctor say if i dun take care, sooner or later everything in my body is gonna rot. i was taken aback when he say that but i dun care much already.

i wish i can just run away from everything. i really dun know how to face it now. hurting me so much everywhere in my body. sigh.. i cant let my parents know anything too if not they will kill me for it. sometimes i do wish i'm a bird or some pets that somebody can take care of me and no worries for anything.

i always wanna be strong or act strong infront of people, in fact i'm so weak that anybody can hurt me in any ways. i always tell myself to be strong. i just cant man i really dun know why i cant and some others can. life is so worthless to me now. today is a other day of suffering in this world that i have to bear with til the day im gone. i have enough of everything already, getting hurt and stuff, guess im used to it til i have no feelings anymore.

i gave everything, i just want you to be happy. i'll just wait by the side.

what are friends for??

2005-02-15T01:00:00.000-08:00

guess everybody knows what are friends for right? to me i also knoe whats the meaning to it. i dun seem to have a true friend. friends to have fun and stuff, i do have alot. friends that are there for me when i needed somebody. NONE... i dun pity myself. im used to it already. i was at east coast by the beach drinking. i did msg some of my "fun friends". nobody id there for me. not even 1 offter me their shoulder to cry on. i wonder why the one up there is trying to do to me. i have no ideal at all.

i wanted so much to end everything. after drinking some drinks i got the guts to do anything. where is my true true friend??? guess in my life i wont have any. kinda sad dun u think so? i dun wan anybody to pity me or anything. im typing all this so that i can let it off my chest. nobody ask u to read anyway.

why my life to fucked up??? i wonder why. what did my past life did? guess im replaying it everything in this life now. nobody understands me at all. i dun have a chance to open up to anybody incl my parents. am i that bad??? am i? i know myself the best. i dun think im like some fuckers out there. im so so much better then them. why is my life so mess up? i really dun know why. i wanna give up everything, i mean everything. no point fighting for anything cos in the end im gonna end up losing again. im such a loser sometimes. im used to it anyway.

To all, be happy on what u have cos others may not.

i'm so hurt

2005-02-14T21:15:00.000-08:00

Life to me is worthless now. i'll get over it if i can. no worries at all. nobody understand how i feel cos i dun have a real close friend i can lay on and pour out all the problems i face in my life. izzit hard to find a real good friend or bf/gf? to me both is very hard to find. i wanna think of happy things but my heart is very hurt thats all. i wanna cry but i hold back my tears.
im in a state of going to end my life once and for all.

i wish there is some kinda pills that can forget unhappy memory. haha. fat hope right? the one up there is playing with me all this while. i always blame him for everything, yes i mean everything. why is he doing this to me??? i know im a bad guy in everybody eyes. maybe to him too. i love him and i trust him. why believe and trust him when he always play a prank on me? is this life u talking about here? i dun know what to say. i cant go on with it anymore. i just cant.

To all, be happy and dun b like me.

What's life?

2005-02-14T13:26:00.000-08:00

hey hey!! this is my very first posting. dun really know how the thing works so im just giving it a try yah. hope u people dun mind.

I always wonder what's life? why people seem to be always happy and some always sad? i really dun know. cos i myself feeling both ways right now. i just came back from KL last night. i went with my "brothers" its really fun shopping and playing around just the 3 of us. we even went to KL zouk. not that bad alfter all. haha. im feeling happy when i was there having a hoilday.
once im back, everything seem to change. i miss someone so much there. she gave me a cold shouder when i'm back. i'm feeling very hurt but she dun seem to care at all. do i mean anything to u at all? i really dun know at all. sometimes i do wish i can turn back time so that this things wont happen at all. im feeling sad and hurt right now typing this. nobody seem to care. what's life????????? i wanna be happy all the time but the question is CAN I?

Everybody make mistakes in life, nobody is perfect at all. but why the mistakes made most of time is love life?? BGR and stuff... nobody seem to know the answer. life goes on no matter what happens. sometimes i do wish i can just end my life like that. no more worries, no more getting sad, no more getting hurt. why life is so mess up for me and some others? i really wanna forget u and everything but i cant seem to do it at all. The more i wanna forget the more im missing u. i really hate myself sometimes. WHY ROBIN?? WHY??? nobody seem to understand what im trying to say. its ok with me. i just wanna let it out from my chest. i'm feeling alot better now. guess this blog will be my listening ears from now on.

love hurts all the time.
Today is valentines day. wish everybody happiness.